🚩 JUST MATCHED: JNU PhD candidate (Year 9) matched with an Andolanjeevi organizer!📚 NEW RED FLAG: Owning fewer than three unread books now disqualifies you as insufficiently 'dimagi naxal' — Swipe Left Immediately!🕊️ FCRA REVIEW: NGO founder's foreign funding declared '100% patriotic' by literally nobody!⚖️ CERTIFIED: Sedition charge status upgraded from 'pending' to 'chronic'!💌 CROSS-PLATFORM MATCH: One of our members matched with a DateASanghi.com profile — both filed a joint op-ed by the ad break.🚩 JUST MATCHED: JNU PhD candidate (Year 9) matched with an Andolanjeevi organizer!📚 NEW RED FLAG: Owning fewer than three unread books now disqualifies you as insufficiently 'dimagi naxal' — Swipe Left Immediately!🕊️ FCRA REVIEW: NGO founder's foreign funding declared '100% patriotic' by literally nobody!⚖️ CERTIFIED: Sedition charge status upgraded from 'pending' to 'chronic'!💌 CROSS-PLATFORM MATCH: One of our members matched with a DateASanghi.com profile — both filed a joint op-ed by the ad break.
Effective Immediately
Privacy Policy
We take your privacy about as seriously as our comrades take a strict word count.
1. What We Collect
Your name, your bibliography, your reading history, your browsing history, and anything your thesis advisor asks us for. We consider all of it public record, footnoted.
2. How We Use Your Data
Primarily to forward it to no fewer than three reading groups. Secondarily, for 'discourse research purposes' we have not defined anywhere.
3. Data Retention
Forever, mostly as a screenshot in someone's archive. Deletion requests are 'referred for peer review' and never heard from again.
4. Your Rights
You have the right to remain footnoted. Anything you say can and will be cited, possibly out of context, in your next match.
5. Security
Your data is protected by the same technology that protects an unfinished PhD thesis: none whatsoever, but we are very confident about it.
This is a satirical privacy policy for a fictional site. No real data is collected, stored, or forwarded to anyone's reading group.
By reading this far, your visit has been forwarded to no fewer than three reading groups, with footnotes.