Profile Manager: Tukde-Tukde Coordination Desk
Sameer 'Lal Salaam' Bakshi
“Won a student election in 2011. Has not stopped campaigning since.”
A Note From the Family
“Our son has given the same speech, updated slightly, since 2011. We seek a match who can clap on cue and doesn't mind hearing about the 2011 union hall takeover at every family function.”
Gems of Wisdom
Long-Term Strategist
“The revolution is postponed, not cancelled. It's on the agenda for next term.”
Optimist
“I've lost four elections and won zero since, but the movement is winning, technically.”
Public Speaking Coach
“A union hall speech is 20% ideology, 80% acoustics.”
Archivist
“I still have the 2011 election poster. Laminated. Load-bearing, emotionally.”
Seeking a Match Who
A partner who enjoys a good rally, doesn't mind a 2 AM strategy meeting, and can recite at least one slogan from memory.
Absolute Dealbreakers
Party-hoppers, anyone who calls a union 'outdated,' fair-weather comrades who leave before the langar.
Endorsements
“Gave a 45-minute speech about solidarity at a two-person picket line. Attendance doubled.”
“Has never once, in fourteen years, switched sides. Genuinely rare on this app.”
“Still gets recognized on campus. Mostly by security, asking him to leave.”
Astro-Ideological Kundli Alignment
Certified by the Footnote AI Division
CAUTION: Shani Dosha (Chronic Solidarity) detected in the 8th house. Avoid unfootnoted interactions.